Written by Wyatt Metzger
God Bless Goodwill and God Bless that Couch.
I always find it funny that my favorite high school sports memory came as a spectator and a fan rather than as a player. You see, I attended Guerin Catholic high school, played four years of varsity tennis, and loved every second of it. There’s a certain atmosphere at a small school that only those who experienced it can truly understand. For a school of barely 800 students, we usually managed a respectable student section at sporting events, and for the most part our teams were able to hold their own against the big public powerhouses that surrounded us. My senior year I was elected as one of the leaders of our student section. (I’m still convinced I was only elected because I clearly didn’t go to parties on weekends, so I had nothing better to do than attend the games. But that’s beside the point.) My loyalty was obvious with my tennis team during the fall, but after we were eliminated from the state tournament in early October, my focus turned to creating the rowdiest student section in the state. And that’s when shit got wild.
Back in 2017, any Guerin Catholic student would agree that our best all-around sports team was girls soccer. With D1 players scattered across our starting eleven, it felt like the damn dream team. Heading into the state tournament, it was obvious that the only hurdle between our team and a state championship was the Carmel Greyhounds. Now, if I had a dollar for every time I have uttered the phrase “Fuck Carmel,” I’d probably give Mr. Bezos a run for his money. I say that out of total respect too. Carmel just wins. Plain and simple. They always have, and always will. That fact alone will naturally create enemies, and because the IHSAA hates the little guys, we just happened to face that enemy in Sectionals. Heading into that game, everyone knew beating Carmel meant a good chance at a state championship. The other leaders and I knew we had to go BIG for this game. Saturday night, under the lights, we were hosting. Let’s fill the place. The day of the game we start brainstorming ideas. I still don’t know what our rationale was, but for some reason we thought “let’s buy a couch”. Obviously, there’s nothing more unifying than a piece of furniture. (Again, no clue what our thought process was). Long story short, we stopped by GoodWill (it was the first Saturday of the month, which meant 50% off the whole store. HUGE.) We just so happened to find an all-white, old ass couch for $10. Yes. Ten. Dollars. We threw it into the back of my buddy’s F-150 and brought it out to “the hill” which doubled as our student section. We then acquired what had to be an illegal amount of spray paint to give it the iconic purple shade. Now, the soccer game that night should be a story all by itself. To this day, it’s the craziest atmosphere I’ve ever been a part of at any level. Never seen anything like it, but that’s not my story to tell. This is about the couch.